We won't sleep together?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
