operation have a gay friend backfired
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
