u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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