I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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