dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
