He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
