His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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