He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
