I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
