he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
