He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
