Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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