I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
