Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
