I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
