I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
