I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize