I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
