so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
