i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize