4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I understand Curling. That high.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
