Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize