my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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