Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
