dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
