I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I could fuck to npr.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
