Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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