I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
