The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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