whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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