I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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