guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
