Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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