How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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