I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
the liver wants what the liver wants
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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