Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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