Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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