And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
