I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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