Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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