Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize