I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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