we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
