I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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