ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
one two three fourrrrnication!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
