I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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