We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
