Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
