Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
