i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
