Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
