dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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