Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just cut my nipple shaving
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize