those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
