Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
