I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
