Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
