My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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