i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I checked into jail on foursquare
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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