3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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