Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
