i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
