My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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