And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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