$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize