Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
