Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize