Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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